Has there ever been a time when you decided to take stock of things that have happened to you in life and you had regrets like….you shouldn’t have gone into that relationship, taken that  job or if you had got that visa etc, your life would have turned out much better than it is today?  Then my people, you are not alone!  I used to feel like that until one day, after some serious soul searching, I came to the following conclusions;

HAVE NO REGRETS

Regrets are a total waste of time.  What has happened has happened.  You can’t change the past, neither can you erase it but you most certainly can learn some lessons from it.  Though things didn’t work out, feel good to know that at least you took the plunge which is more than you can say for some people.

YOU WIN NO MEDALS FOR SUFFERING

Some people have the habit of being martyrs for nothing’s sake.  Don’t get me wrong, you can be a martyr for religious or political reasons and it would be worth it but here, I’m talking about someone that has worked hard and has the money to spend on a nice car, house or outfit and they say, “No! Let me mise the money!” For what, pray tell?  Or you’re in a really bad, destructive relationship which you can see is heading nowhere except to the Loony Bin but you still hang in there.  For God’s sake, why?  What you are really saying is that you don’t deserve to be happy which is absolute nonsense! 

ELIMINATE ALL TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS FROM YOUR LIFE

There are only two kinds of people in life; those that add spiritually, emotionally, physically or financially to you and those that take same from you.  Eliminate such people from your life.  I call them “users” and they are in the office, home even church.  There was a girl I once knew, who every time she opened her mouth to speak to me, had something negative to say.  Every time I left her company, I felt low or felt bad about myself.  One day, in the middle of her usual negative talk, I summoned the courage to I tell her where to get off. Boy, didn’t I feel good about it!

DON’T PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO PEOPLE’S OPINION OF YOU

Someone once said “great minds discuss issues but small minds discuss people” – too true.  Sometimes, we care too much about what people say about us.  Someone once told me some nasty stuff a former co-worker had said about me and as I wanted to feel bad, a thought flashed through my mind, “Does this person validate you? It’s not her opinion that matters but God’s opinion of you and what you think of yourself!”  So I was able to brush it off though it hurt, and get on with my life.  It’s not so much the action against you but your reaction to it.   

DISCOVER YOUR TALENT AND EXPLORE YOUR POTENTIAL

What can you see yourself doing everyday for the rest of your life with little or no pay?  Chances are that is your calling.  I spent ten years working in jobs I hated because I wanted to pay bills and please family, when my calling – writing and storytelling beckoned to me.  I finally did the unthinkable – resigned and pursued my dream of being a writer and an independent producer (ain’t seen the money yet, though!) but I know there is a pot of gold and a God at the end of the rainbow!

HOOK UP TO THE HIGHER POWER

This article would be incomplete if I didn’t add this but let’s face it we all know there is a God.  We may break His rules occasionally or even constantly but we know He exists and if it weren’t for Him, we might not have been in a far worse condition than we are in right now.  Living in this city and coping with its daily pressures behooves you to cling to The Higher Power.  We need to refuel spiritually or else we will burn out.

AND LASTLY, LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULL!

Go ahead! Buy that new car (even if it’s a jeep, you’re a girl and you aren’t yet married!) Buy that outrageously, expensive outfit (and make sure you wear it!). You’re not going to take any of it with you when you leave this world which we all will eventually, so live each day like it’s your last.