“It is difficult to comprehend the way my people love me. If something has not happened to you, you wouldn’t know. What went through my mind was that if half of my people could understand that (this) our leader is going through all this ordeal because of us, I would have been a fulfilled man”.

That was part of former governor Diepreye Alamieyeseigha’s effusive speech to supporters that thronged Government House, Yenagoa, Bayelsa State, soon after he broke out of jail in London. In his misguided, ecstatic jubilation, Alams (as they call him) blamed his travails on his arch enemies who were jealous of his accomplishment. He told the crowd that he was not oblivious of the extreme measures taken by his enemies, to include the hiring of voodoo specialists, in order to derail his “good” government. Virtually everybody in the crowd cheered on. Whether it was the fact that they were opportune to enter the State House for the first time (the gates were thrown wide open for all and sundry), or the fact that they were in the presence of the governor, a whole slimmed down, tummy tucked Alams that excited them, one did not know. But they wallowed in their extreme ignorance as they celebrated the return of their prodigal son.

Alams rode into Yenagoa in a black Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV), making sure to roll down his window so that the doubting Bayelsans would know for sure that he was back in town. Of course, the poor people besieged his small convoy, which quickly became a long motorcade, with okada motorcyclists joining in and hundreds of people on foot wading through ponds, creeks and rivers. All roads led to Government House. His deputy, Goodluck Jonathan (now VP), who was then Acting Governor, did not know what to do. He sheepishly went along with the charade, smiling for the cell phone cameras, hugging the thieves in the crowd and shaking the looting hands of many of Alams friends.

A couple of days earlier, Alams had reportedly disguised himself in a woman’s attire (what a beast-ful, sorry, beautiful woman he must have looked) and sneaked past the London Metropolitan Police who must have relaxed their security, thinking that an august guest like Alams would not attempt such a crude escape. But our crook took a train through the British Channel into Paris, from where he boarded a plane to Cameroon. From Cameroon, he took a boat to Amassoma, his hometown, and, like a thief and fugitive that he was, crept into his house at 2.00a.m.

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) was aghast. Here was a man they could not arrest because he enjoyed constitutional immunity from prosecution while in office and they were happy that the London police was going to tuck him away for some time. Now, here was the same man back in town in fanfare, rubbing his ill-gotten wealth on their nose again. Nuhu Ribadu, head of the Commission embarked on a subterranean attempt to undermine the influence of Alams in Bayelsa and get him duly impeached. But little did Ribadu know that N1 million could go a long way in buying the birth rights of many Bayelsa legislators. Early in his reign, Alams had approved a N1 million Constituency Development Fund (CDF) for each member of the Legislature. No member was therefore willing to bite the thieving fingers that fed him, especially since Ribadu was not willing to match Alams’ generosity. If you want to walk on a soft ground, the Yorubas say, you better wet the ground ahead of you.

To impeach Alams, Ribadu had to cart the legislators away to Lagos where they were sequestered and maximum pressure, to include outright blackmail, was mounted on them. On impeachment day, the legislators were bussed to Yenagoa, with the Assembly premises barricaded by stern-looking, ready-to-kill police officers. It was reminiscent of a military coup in progress. And so, Alams’ disgraceful exit from power was concluded and he was arrested and flown to Abuja.

His Ijaw people were beside themselves. What a travesty, they cried. This was a calculated attempt to rubbish the good image of the Ijaw Nation. Why was their son dragged through the international and national mud of corruption? Was he the only thief in town? 

And because my Ijaw friends displayed such angst, I was beside myself! The Yorubas, again, ask you to pay attention to your child who is not in the laundry business, but brings home all kinds of clothes every day. If you press him hard enough, you will discover that he is stealing those clothes.

Of course, Alams was not a pauper when he became governor of Bayelsa State. But he did not have £100,000, £70,000, £50,000, £122,175, £70,000, £198,814, £120,000, another £100,000, yet another £100,000, £250,000, £99,985, £81,985, £19,985, £136,157, £275,027 and £299,465 – all stashed away in different bank accounts in Britain; accounts that he owned and operated in clear contravention of the Oath of Office that he swore to uphold.  That is a whopping N523,398,250! Alams did not have that much money. He acquired that and much more only since becoming governor.

Alams did not live on the streets or in a shelter before becoming governor. He owned a couple of houses. But in the short time since he took over the mantle of governance in Bayelsa, Alams bought the Chelsea Hotel in Abuja, supposedly in the name of Bayelsa State, but actually in his own name.  He bought the properties at 10, Oguda Close, and 18, Mississippi Street, both in Maitama, Abuja. Alams continued his blind stealing spree as he acquired the property on Plot 26, Dalhatu Close, Abacha Estate, Ikoyi, Lagos (Abacha Estate? What an irony! A thief stealing on a thief’s Estate). He also bought the house at No 1, Community Road, Off Allen Avenue, Ikeja, Lagos. Still staying in Lagos, he bought 4A,  Ilu Drive, Ikoyi,  As if this man had never seen money in his life,  he bought the property at No 20, Obagi Street, Diobu, Port Harcourt.  Not satisfied with one or two houses in Nigeria, he took the Bayelsa people’s money to Britain and gobbled up properties  at 247, Water Gardens,  W2 2DG, 14, Mapesbury Road,  NW2 4JB, 202, Jubilee Heights, Shootuphill, NW2 3UQ, and 68-70 Regent Park – all in and around London.

After his impeachment and arrest, the EFCC sought to do with him what it had done with many high-powered thieves in the past: cajole him into coughing up his loot (after all, the most important thing is to retrieve the loot and return it to the people) and then slap him on the wrist for stealing. Remember the former IG, Tafa Balogun? He did not spend an eternity in jail because he agreed to give back his loot and apologize to Nigerians for betraying the trust reposed in him. Remember also Buba Marwa, former governor of Lagos State? He was gearing up to run for president. He had, in fact, set up a Marwa-For-President campaign organization when the EFCC arrested him for helping to hide some of Abacha’s loot in his bank account in Kenya. For four days, Marwa was detained in Lagos and pressured by the EFCC until he forfeited the money. Marwa was released because he fully cooperated.

But Alams was such a pathological thief, with stealing so deeply ingrained in his psyche that he fought, for over a year, to keep his ill-gotten wealth. What an effrontery! You rob a bank and you are arrested by the cops. Rather than drop the loot and try to escape with a high dose of regret and remorse, you adamantly refuse to let go of the loot! What a brazen thief you are! Alams hired top-scale lawyers to perform legal acrobatic schemes designed to spirit him out of jail; sent emissaries to officials of the EFCC to bribe them and hired magicians and voodoo practitioners to help put his guards to sleep so he could escape again. We will never know how many police officers, lawyers and court officials (and even judges) that took advantage of Alams and fed fat off his loot.

But Ribadu would not budge. Alams’ doctors eventually succeeded in getting him some reprieve, having him shipped to Dubai for medical attention. Even there, he was incarcerated, although not in a cell and not handcuffed. His freedom was curtailed and his visitors were restricted. When former VP Atiku (I hate to call him VP - indolent and roguish as he was) visited him in the hospital in violation of the conditions under which he was allowed to go to Dubai, he was bundled back home faster than he expected.

When Alams returned to Nigeria, reality finally dawned on him: he was not going to get away with his loot no matter how hard he tried. If it was true that the EFCC singled him out because he was an Obasanjo hater, Yar’ Adua was not going to grant him clemency either. He reached an accord with the EFCC, allowing him to serve only two years of incarceration in exchange for forfeiting (to the poor people of Bayelsa State) all the money and properties listed above. With credit for time served already, Alams regained his freedom almost immediately. And that has been a source of outrage for many Nigerians living abroad. “Why should he serve just two years for stealing that much money”? “He should have been thrown in jail and his cell keys flung into the lagoon.” In the 100 degrees summer heat of Baltimore, MD, USA, a friend, yesterday, almost punctured one of his veins as he argued vociferously that Alams should have had his writing hand amputated before letting him out of jail.

I tried to bring sanity to the conversation by pointing out that Chief D.S.P. Alamieyeseigha has now, (also as part of his deal with the EFCC) been “appointed” as mediator between the folks in the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta people (MEND) and the Federal Government. The MEND, you will recall, is one of the primary organizations that have been accused of carrying out all sorts of attacks against the equipment and personnel of the oil companies in the Delta areas. Alams had always been suspected of morally and financially supporting the MEND. But I was quickly shut down by one of my friends who argued that Alams’ purported support of the MEND was tantamount to an act of terrorism against the State of Nigeria, a charge that should have carried a death sentence in the first place.

I was speechless. I buried my head in shame…shame for those prominent Ijaw elders/leaders who, in 2005, chattered air-conditioned busses to Abuja to plead for the release of their son who was being “vilified by the Federal Government for doing nothing”. They held press conferences espousing the virtues of Alams and swore to his innocence at every turn. They accused government of deliberately attempting to tarnish the reputation of the Ijaw Nation. With their son now having confessed to all the charges and having forfeited his loot, who really tarnished the image and reputation of the Ijaw Nation? If Alams returns to Yenagoa tomorrow, will the Ijaw Nation role out its red carpet to welcome him as it did when he escaped from London? A thief is a thief, no matter how dear he is to you. And if you dress him as a prince, you will be embarrassed.