So how do you feel about being banned and not acting right now?

 

Well, I love acting, but I’ve also used that one-year ban period to find myself again. Now I know the other things that I can do very well. There are two magazines that have approached me now that I should be writing a column for them and I’m like “what do I write?” The ban also gave me time to spend with my kids as well. Now I’m so used to them. We have this bond, and I’m able to check their homework every day unlike when I did it just twice a week. I’ve been able to take them on a trip, which we could not do for a long time. It came at the right time, because when it all happened when my husband died, I said to myself, “maybe God is trying to tell me something, that I should just think relax, and ask myself who I want to be and where I want to go and how I am going to get there” and to concentrate on the children because they need me the most. So it’s been a blessing in disguise. Its not that I wont go back if the opportunity comes, but this time, its not going to be as regular as before. I’d probably be doing like 2 or 3 movies in a year and that’s it, so that I can have time for my family.

 

What was the reason for your being banned, were you one of those demanding high fees?

 

The funny thing is that when this ban happened, it was the day I travelled out and when I came back and had a meeting with the president of the Actor’s Guild at the time, I asked a specific question, that speaking for me now and not for everybody, “what did I do?” Because I know that they were complaining that some people were charging N1 million, that some will collect money from different people and will not finish the job. And what they told me was that I was just unfortunate, that they just decided to wipe out all the people that were called the G5. Who gave us the name G5, I don’t know. They simply decided to phase out all the G5 men and women because they were becoming too heady etc. And I am like if there was a particular person that I had offended, I’d really like to know, because I’ve never collected N1 million and the highest amount that I have ever received, before I could get it, it was trouble. And so when I heard the story saying that if you want to be unbanned, come to Awka, I said I wasn’t going, because they really need to tell me what I’ve done. It’s really not been something that has bothered me, because God has blessed me in various other ways and I’m able to do different things.

 

For someone who’s had her life entwined with her husband, how d’you relax now that he’s no longer with you?

 

The honest truth? The only time I’ve relaxed is like 3 weeks ago when I left Lagos with my children. I went on a short break. You will not believe how happy and lifted I was. When my friend, Bena saw me, she cried and I wondered why. She told me that the last time she saw me this happy was the week before Jaiye died, when we were planning a big party.

 

That for the whole one year that she was with me, I wasn’t myself. During this rip to Ghana, I would walk around the house in my nightdress, behaving like a child that has just been released from a cage. I took my kids out there, something I hardly do here because I don’t want undue attention on them. This is the first time I’m leaving the country since Jaiye dies, and I couldn’t believe that I could be that happy and actually laugh loud and gist with people.

 

Do you see yourself remarrying?

 

(Laugh) I don’t know. The risk about that is that I know myself. I don’t want to put any man under that thing of having to compare him with my late husband, because when you say a man, a complete man, that was Jaiye. I don’t know if I’m going to meet somebody later and say okay, I can live the rest of my life with him, it’s going to be difficult. That’s why I’m not even thinking about it. Sometimes I’m sitting down and thinking that one day, somebody will now come and say “I want to marry you” and I will now start all this from the beginning again. Can I start all over? I don’t know, because there’s no way that I would not compare. Even now when I go out and people come and toast, because they are toasting me! (laughs) I’m sorry to say. I look at them, they talk one or two lines and I begin to find faults that aren’t there. I really

don’t think that remarrying will happen in some years to come. I know that I’m young; I just want to stabilise and take care of my kids for now, be my own person and stand on my feet. I really don’t want to get involved with somebody else for the wrong reasons.

 

How do you want to move forward from this point, its been a year since Jaiye died?

 

There are so many things that I’ve always wanted to do, like the African shop he’s always wanted me to set up. I’ve already started that. I’ve already started GIG FACTOR again, and there are two or more businesses that I’m looking at right now, we’re just putting finishing touches to them. And I’m also going to be having my own T.V talk show.

 

Would you tell us about it?

 

That would be letting the cat out of the bag! Right now, the band is doing well and that’s where the bulk of my income is coming from right now. And then the equipment has been going out on rentals. Also about 3 and 4 people called me to manage their event last year, so I’ve turned into an event manager (laughs). My sister and I just registered Angels and Bells, a wedding planning outfit. I’m just investing and making sure that I’m busy and small money is coming in.

 

Does Jaiye’s family get to see his kids?

 

Hmm, they don’t really get to see them much or as often as one would want, but I guess that is so because I’ve been trying to accept a lot of things in my head. The fact about this whole thing is that I feel that deep down inside, that if both parties sit down, without all the people, noise, media interference, and lay the cards on the table, we’d both probably realise that we’ve just been feeling like this towards each other for nothing. That there’s probably been a misconception about something somewhere that we are both missing and for so many years, we’ve just stayed away. Because I really respect them for whom they are, especially Wunmi. I really respect her a lot because to me, she’s very a very hardworking person and she’s very talented. I’m not saying this because I’m talking to you, I always say to people that are around me, I always watch her perform and see how she does a thousand and one businesses, as well as take care of her family and I’m like “that is a woman!” I believe that if there are sorrys that should be said, if we sit together to talk about it, we will say them. Because I know that this thing will affect our children. Once, when we went for an event and Jaiye’s brother’s kids were there, hen the kids saw them, come and see the hugging and the loving they showed towards each other, and I was ashamed! I’m like, “we are the ones that are adults and we are the ones that should be setting good examples. Look at our kids, they really didn’t care who was there”. The children don’t have any problem and probably don’t know what’s going on.

 

Did the fact that you have a strained relationship with Jaiye’s family bother him while he was alive?

 

Oh, it did. No man will be happy because he loved his family very much, he could do anything for them, he loved them and the same love he gave to me and the children. I’ve never seen that kind of love before because my husband loved! He had more than enough to go round. He kept telling me that “Omo, e be like say this thing na woman issue, because me I no have problem, my elder brother no have problem, what’s wrong with you women? You people should sort yourselves out because this thing is not funny anymore”. Because I know that when there are family gatherings, he’s always asking, “shey you will go o?”. So I would say, “if you are going, I will go now.” Deep down, I just wish something will come up and we will just settle things once and for all, if nothing else, but for the fact that both family share something now, the children. You need to see Jaiye with my family, you will not believe that my father didn’t give birth to him. He and my mum were hot about each other. There is this Owerri soup my mother cooks for him that he loved, so he always wanted to know when my mum would be coming to Lagos to cook the soup for him. The same with my sisters, they loved him.

 

What do you miss about not having him around?

 

His laughter. He loved people around him, he would cook and we would all sit down to eat. He’d buy champagne and we would all drink. Every weekend, we were always doing one thing or the other in the house. He used to know when I’m vexed and would say, “Shorty, somebody vexed you, come, come and hug, lets hug each other”. Without him, I just feel that I’m working on automatic. I’ve been strong by the grace of God, since I have to go on and survive because of my children.