Victor Ehikhamenor
Articles by this Author
Roses Are Red. So Are My Eyes
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 04/2/2007
- Relationships & Gender
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Rating:




Every month in America, a holiday extracts money from me like a root canal. Do I get a raise from my job every month? Do you know how rich I would be if I were to get a bump in my salary every Christmas, Kwanza, New Year Day, President's Day, Chinese New year and Valentine's day?
My Baby Is Not Up For Adoption
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 06/20/2006
- Life Abroad
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Rating:




How could you, Angelina Jolie? How could you? Was I not the one that told you the quickest way to get an ambassadorial position in the UN is to adopt a Somalian child? Did my advice not lead to your hooking up with the white world’s sexiest man alive…how come you did not come to Nigeria to have your baby?
Oscars 2006 – A Departure From Glamour
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 03/7/2006
- Arts & Reviews
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Rating:




I finally had an experience that was more boring than waiting to have your car registered at the Department of Motor Vehicles. There is no better way of putting it; the Oscars this year was a crash that broke backs on the mountain of entertainment...
How To Survive Shopping In America
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 12/27/2005
- Life Abroad
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Rating:




I like Wal-Mart. I like their sales better than any other stores’. I am interested in their DVD player sales. It doesn’t matter that I already have six DVD players in the house. I need one in my car garage...
Christmas Gifts Africans Should Avoid
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 12/19/2005
- Life Abroad
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Rating:




Your teenage son already sees you as that strange man with the funny accent from Africa who just doesn’t understand him. So, don’t make matters worse by buying him a Sony Walkman. That was cool in your day. Get him the Ipod Nano instead. That should work. Be warned though…an Ipod is different from the Ondo cocoa pod you are familiar with…
Black Stars Shine On A White Sky
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 03/6/2005
- Arts & Reviews
- Unrated
Halle Berry…She can wear my father’s farm clothes and still look astonishing...If your wife or girlfriend caught you cheating with her in Colorado, she will give you a medal of honor. I think any man that wants to keep Halle Berry to himself is selfish and does not wish humanity well...
Answers Chasing Questions
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 05/8/2003
- Nigeria Matters
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Ehikhamenor responds blow by blow to Toni Kan's Questions Without Answers...
Operation Uhuru For Sozaboy
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 04/9/2003
- Life Abroad
- Unrated
Tending goats in the village can teach you a lot of things. The instincts are buried deep like etchings on a tombstone...
King of the Jungle
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 03/25/2003
- Life Abroad
- Unrated
I will not abide by the UN resolutions. I am going ahead to screw you and I dare you not to abide by the Geneva Convention...
Happy Thanksgiving
- By Victor Ehikhamenor
- Published 11/21/2002
- Life Abroad
- Unrated
We do not set a special day aside to reduce
the turkey population of my nation, and complain of obesity the next morning...



