Nigerian Men…The Good, The Bad, The Ugly!

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share

Bold, brash, infuriating, funny, crafty, big-hearted, double-dealing, sexy, crazy, loving…take your pick! All these adjectives (and more) describe the quintessential Nigerian man. A lot has been said about him…some good, some not so good. There’s the belief that Nigerian mothers raise their daughters and spoil their sons…too true. From the time he comes screaming from her into the world and all rejoice that “it’s a boy! ” he is doted and waited on hand and foot by the female folk in the family…whether mothers, sisters, aunties and their girlfriends/wives are expected to pick up from there. How many a little girl have had to wash dishes and when asked if Junior can join her, have been told “No! Because he is a boy!” How many a heart has been broken by those brown, twinkly eyes and wicked, dimpled grin? The countless “I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again” to the “It wasn’t my fault, she tricked me…into getting her pregnant!” Nigerian men are as different as they come but there are some characteristics that stand out, are constant and trail him wherever he goes.

HE IS HARDWORKING…Compared to his counterparts in Diaspora, the Nigerian man is a natural hustler. Whether its at his fancy bank job in V.I. or watch-peddling in the Traffic, he works hard for his money. Not for him the queuing at the Giro office or sitting on the sidewalk, swigging from a bottle of booze, hollering at sistas. Even if he does that you can be sure he has finished work and is just kidding around, which brings me to the next characteristic…

HE PLAYS HARD….what’s all that hard work for if you don’t get to spend the proceeds? He LURVES to groove…whether its at the Club or the open air pepper soup joint at Obalende! He loves to enjoy himself …and invite others to enjoy it with him. There’s always some house-warming, Child Dedication, Birthday or new item to “wash” which leads me to the fact that…

HE LOVES THE GOOD THINGS OF LIFE…just drive through Lagos or any of the other major cities in Nigeria and check out the flashy cars, fancy homes and hot night spots. The Nigerian man (along with his woman) likes to enjoy the good things of life. He’s got to have the flashiest car, the finest girl, the biggest house. If he’s got the dough, he flaunts it (and wants you to know he is flaunting it too!) and God help those of other Nationalities when he is on the roll! On the downside, this has led many into a life of crime.

Another characteristic of the Nigerian man is that HIS LOVE FOR WOMEN! That the Nigerian man loves women can not be disputed. No race, colour or hue is off limits. Not too many years ago, the winner of Miss Norway Beauty Contest was a half-caste with the distinctively Nigerian name of my forebears. When asked about her origins, she said her mother was Norwegian but unfortunately she had never met her father before. Talk about sowing your wild oats! I’ve seen children that are half-Filipino and half-Nigerian! Half-Malaysian and even half-Indian! How he managed to convince the latter I will never know because Indians hardly ever marry outside their race! But trust my Bros! No woman is too hard to toast! Once he makes up his mind, he goes after her with a single-mindedness of a soldier on a special mission. Who can resist his charms?Which brings me to the next characteristic…

HIS “SWEET MOUTH”! How many times have you my sisters, sworn that you were going to “brain” that boyfriend of yours when you catch him in yet another escapade, only for him to turn up with an innocent-looking face, weaving his fabricated story of how he tripped and fell on his Aunt who happened to be wearing red lipstick, so that’s how the mark got on his shirt! You know he’s lying and sweet-talking you but you allow yourself (after initially raking) to soften and smile at his smooth flattery and corny jokes.E.g. “Mamarazzy-mamazita!The only woman wey fit turn Urhobo man to flying boat!No one but you!Every other woman is a counterfeit!” and you accept him, after all, you are too young to die of hypertension!This leads to yet another characteristic…

HE IS FINE

There is no denying it…Nigerian men are fine. Compare him to men from other nationalities. Is it the “yellow” ones from the East or the Caramel ones from the West? Or the dark chocolate from the North? Sure, there are some that are more “fearfully than wonderfully made” but generally our boys are fine!

And last but not the least…

He LOVES GOOD FOOD

That his woman should know how to cook should not even be up for negotiation. Recently, I was at a get together in Abuja for a group of African–Americans that had completed a project and were on their way back to the U.S. They were going on about how warm and hospitable the people were and the women among them (like true Americans!) said they wouldn’t mind getting married to Nigerians and would like to be hooked up! Well, a crazy colleague of mine decide to take on the role of match-maker and started asking for their likes, preferences etc. As they were giving it one by one amidst much laughter, one of them dropped the bombshell that she couldn’t cook.You could have heard a pin drop! The whole room went quiet. That, I can tell you, put paid to her “Nigerian-husband” ambition.

Overall, the Nigerian man may have his flaws (who doesn’t?) but love him or hate him, he is who he is…and if the truth be told many of us Nigerian women wouldn’t have him any other way…save for a little tweaking here and there!

Bolanle Aduwo About Bolanle Aduwo
Bolanle Aduwo is a screenwriter, broadcaster and producer. She has written screenplays for several soaps and home videos in the Nigerian movie scene and is currently producing her own movie.

Posted in: Man & Woman

88 Comments

  1. Breezy says:

    Hi Melissa, I recently started dating a Nigerian guy, I really related to your comment. He tells me all of the right things but he isn’t emotional and not too affectionate either. He stays busy with his business and doesn’t want me out although he met me out. Its hard for me to figure him out although it is still early. I don’t want him too kiss my ass but I do need to feel the love, care and attentiveness. But I can already tell complaining isn’t the route to go. What would you suggest?

  2. Dee says:

    I am an African American woman and I’ve been dating a Nigerian for 4 months. We have gone through lots of challenges… One thing I feel is necessary in a love relationship is God and associating with other believers ( in Christ). He refuses to go to church with me, but wants me to hang out at the soccer field all the time with him. I told him I feel like he has 2 personalities… One with me and one in front of his friends. Long term it won’t work, but I told him we could remain friends. I love him, but I know if we took it further it wouldn’t go anywhere based on our connections spiritually, socially and our pasts…

    This was a very good article.

  3. sweets says:

    TeeNichelle in Huntsville AL. I think I have met your Ike eze…. LOL. Smh!

  4. Annette says:

    I ejoyed the article, and I definitely recognize these traits in my Nigerian husband. Yes, he is so fine! He is very persistant and did not give up until he had me where he wanted me. I have to agree with Melissa, God is very important to my husband (and to me as well). He is gentle, kind, and so very patient with me. He is a proud, strong, sexy, African man, and I do not know if it is true of all Nigerian men, but he is the most positive person I have ever met in my life. In the 2 years I have known him, I have ever heard him say a negative word about anyone, and no matter what we face, he always offers encouraging words and expects a positive outcome. He knows how to make me feel loved, and he takes very good care of me. My man is stubborn anddoes very little wrong in his own eyes, and has the final say even though he does discuss things with me first usually. Respect is extremely imortant to him as it is to all Nigerians. Showing respect to each other is deeply ingrained in their culture. I did not know anything about Nigerian culture until I met my husband and his family. I love the Nigerian culture and have been privilged to spend some time with, and stayed with his family in Nigeria. I enjoyed every moment with them (except the heat…lol). I am looking forward to learning even more as we live our life together. God has brought a amazing man into my life, and I am thankful.

  5. Charmaine says:

    Do Nigerian men forgive women ?

  6. Charmaine says:

    I was dating One who only seen me every 2 to 3 weeks and couldn’t committ till next year. I felt so rejected for his attention once, I had a fling and he found out now he wants nothing to do with me

  7. Charity says:

    I am married to a Nigerian man and we have a 1 yr old together. His 1st child as well as mine. I care a lot for my husband but I feel this article is missing some details about Nigerian men. But in all actuality it may be just men in general. Right now we are going through some things with each other. I will say this, without any harsh intentions, if my marriage with this Nigerian man doesn’t work I will never get with another. I have good relationship with his family and I know they adore me and are aware of some of what’s been going on and have been pulling for us. But I’m to a not willing to try anymore point (if that makes any sense). I won’t generalize an entire nationality or culture but I don’t think I can do this anymore…

  8. Barbara says:

    I love this artice because it has informed me a lot about being in a relationship with a Nigerian man. I’ve been dating one since March and this is like no other relationship. He’s so different than any man I’ve ever met. The only downfall that I see is that he’s always right,he’s spoiled, demanding, controlling and “always right”. I don’t think that i have the patience to deal with someone like this. This is a far cry from what i’m accustomed to. First of all, I won’t tolerate this from an AA man and any other man. I’m just glad that I decided to wait on sleeping with him. If these charateristics weren’t there, he “would” be a great catch.

  9. IgboLoveSlave says:

    I am a Black American woman completely mesmerized by an Igbo man I have recently met in China. He has been nothing less than kind and gentle to me, yet exudes the utmost strength and masculinity. Never in my life has a man fulfilled my dream of mind blowing love making until now. It’s to the point where I cannot even think straight. But more importantly, he is so into me. We had a brief instance where he raised his voice at me. But, I put quickly checked him and cut off us seeing each other about a week to send a strong message that he is either is going to respect me or I am out. His greatest fear is loosing me and I feel the same about him.

  10. Melissa says:

    i love mine as well , we do plan to marry soon. a warning to all the women out there if u are needy for love, nigerian men love you in many ways but if u are expecting a nigerian man to kiss ur ass it will NOT happen. he will listen and respect ur wishes but wishes you to respect him more. god is their hero and they direct and dedicate their lives to god . they will protect u and will always love you but is very much so god driven . now i do not have a problem with god since i believe and i also follow gods will and not my own . nigerian men love to u as a wife is to keep u home and does not want u out in public , wants u home as a mother to his children and a wife to him and wants u too cook and give him his needs of course. u have to be able to handle his type of relationship/marriage before u get in it . know wat u want and expect out of a man becuase nigerian men expect alot out of u as a wife but do not tell them wat they are gonna do , they will NOTTTTTT except it and tell u wat they are doing . trust me i have been through it and wanna walk away so many times but i dont , his love for me will never die he says and he tells me everyday he loves me and always will love me and that i live in him forever. they want respect from their wife and will tell u just that . one last thing do not ever complain , they do not like a wife to complain and they do not want u fat, no offense to anyone i just know. anyhow despite wat country any man is from they all have issues and so do the ladies , enjoy ur marriages no matter the culture.

  11. ShaeShae says:

    I love my Nigerian boyfriend too!!! Irresistible and owns me!

  12. krisna says:

    this article gave me a big smile coz its all true! i met this nigerian guy last year, and we still together until now. i love him so much, i love him because he is a challenge for me. he never show his feelings to me, i know he loves me but not as much i love him. he just always makes me cry.. :( he is a tough guy. thats all i can say

  13. Mika says:

    Hmm…Wonder if HE could be the ONE!!! I had doubts until I read this article! I cant cook, he knows this, Im still in school working on a degree, he knows this too..I dont have much so I dont want to be a disappointment..I just let him know that I AM A MESS..He still lifts me up and makes me smile..I never thought I could FALL for a man…YES I SAID MAN cause I have been lesbian for the past 8 years…I decided to change my life around and he is the FRIST MAN I have shown interest…Althouh we mostly just chat online and text..I have high hopes now!!! Thanks for the article

  14. chris says:

    I luv your write up its so true to Nigerian Man, I met and fell so in love with him he is from Niga Delta, Tall dark and handsome, body to die for. He just has the greatest laughter, I am from South Africa.

  15. Mrs steven says:

    good analysis.. i’m married to nigerian and most of the articles are true. you share good and bad things of him .. not all time smooth n easy but yet ..when comes to exciting moment & fun, he’s really make you feel as though the world only created for you & him…

    I luv my husband..in a good n bad time we been together..

  16. Annette says:

    The article was well written. The issue I see in Houston is some of the Nigerians attitude toward African Americans are negative. We are africans too and we do have a culture. It is not any fault of our own that we were taken from Africa. Secondly, I find some of the Nigerians negative and closeminded. Their system is different and so is ours. Each has good and bad things. The Nigerians will not look at the reasons for example women are alone raising children and there is no male in the home.They will not to understand why it is that way,but instead they will insist on their system being better. Their system has holes in it. American has more accessibility to things that may not be offered in other places. Freedom to religion, there are are lists of things. Everyone is proud where they come from.There has to be better dialogue between the two.The Nigerians have to listen more and stop being so judgemental everyone does not live the same way and some people have different values.. No is one is less than or better than you. I think it is sad how we can not get along.African men have their good points and bad points just like any other man. They are defintely sought after by women.I feel that African Americans can learn from Nigerians as well as we can learn from them. One last thing I do not like the Nigerian slang word that is used when some describe American women. Not all women sell themselves for money. Some have a high regard for themselves. The same people that are judging are also sleeping with someone’s husband, selling themselves etc.in america everthing is out front in the open In Nigeria things are more hidden. Lets call a spade a spade no one is better or less than.We all are works in progress.

  17. Chris says:

    I never dreamed of having a relationship with a Nigerian Man, but well I did and its like you say, they have that magic touch that you just want. We great friends first, he is the one I would go to if I am down, his laughter just makes me melt. Well any ways like the saying goes – Tall dark and handsome…mmm he is great. I looked around in our South African men but they just dont have that oemphf!!!!. and you wonder why they dislike Nigerian Men!!! Well I love this one S2.

  18. Pam says:

    I too am engadged to a Nigerian man , and what most say about them are true. They are fine men , at least I know mine is. They are so full of life and love. He has lifted me up from a deep darkness and showed me the light of life Again. Yes and a much older than him but I do believe that he loves me as much as I love him. So ladies go for it. I am and American white lady and he is the first black man I have ever been involved with , but I am glad i found hi.m

  19. detra king says:

    thank u for this article i recently met a nigerian man we have been talking online he is everything u stated in this article i was leery about going visit but i think i will give it a try thank you

  20. leonmamlade says:

    …a little bit of honesty is perfect. Being confident about ones way and putting it at the fore front of suggestion amidst a quiet and timid bunch, does not connote a lack of understanding of mulple avenues. A Nigerian man is brassy and bold; and sometimes, this is mistaken for boiterousness and arrogance; even by similar folks who fall short of the same opportunity.

  21. kkjea says:

    tracey we in the same boat. am from the caribbean, and he’s nigerian….igbo.. he is everything that he says he is. one thing i know. don’t try to control him on his words.

  22. KEKE says:

    Well i’ve just recently started dating a nigerian man and he’s too good to be true, very handsome, intelligent and sincere. Not to mention he is also fine ! Im amazed at how he treats me and speaks to me, better than any american man has i feel like I’m his treasure and he is my blessing. When we first started talking i did research on Nigerian men and i must say what i found was all negativity but this article really tells you the real and i thank you for this positive article on Nigerian men. I say don’t let someone’s culture define who they are get to know them as a individual you might like what you get!

  23. Denise says:

    I can attest to the charming and single midedness. Robert was passing through my city on business and saw me enter a store. He followed me inside, picked out some snacks and got in line behind me at the register. He then asked to use my store discount card by saying he was from out of town. I loaned him my card and then walked outside. He followed me outside and in the most charming manner said he thought I was very attractive. I eventually gave him my tel # and he gave me his business card and home tel #. After a few phone calls I decided I wasn’t interested in a relationship. That was easier said than done….Robert is hell bent on changing my mind with calls and gifts. His persistence is outrageous but somehow he just avoids being creepy.

  24. l k i g says:

    I love Nigerian man they are nice to his lady sweet talk all the time, gentlman and ofcourse he is the BOSS….

  25. l k i g says:

    I am Ukrainian lady and had a chancer to viisit Nigeria, oh boy, i was in the center of all man attention, got marriage proposals ects. but one thng i know I am hooked on NIgerian man they are sweet talking man and their bodies their skin oh ….yay..rahhhh Love them..

  26. hattie Mcdonald says:

    i am a black womam dated nigerian for eight months . he took to nice resturants and make love to me. i was never included in afrecian events with his people. i feel in love with him. we have broken up but I miss him. He stated that he wanted a woman that was fininical stabe. i am retired from the state of Ohio. I am prwntly working seasonal job get my charge cards paid off.

  27. Wonderfulone says:

    Great comment!

  28. Wonderfulone says:

    I ditto what you just said EMO. My Nigerian has his sights set on me too. He is a professor here in the states for the last 10 years. Most his family is in the states also. We just met but he is wanting to move forward already. He is very kind. I will use this information and my own observation to conclude my decision to give it a long or short haul. LOL Thanks for the article and all of the comments.

  29. Andrea says:

    I am married to a gorgeous Nigerian man, he is a lot of adjectives described above: fine, elegant, sophisticated, However, he is an honest, loyal husband and friend. he appreciates beauty but does not disrespect his wife, he does enjoy my food but doesnt expect me to cook for him, he likes relaxing at home but also loves seeing me relax. So ladies, do not judge your man based on what others say, find out for yourself who he is.

  30. Clare says:

    Hey all, im dating a nagerian guy , and its like Heavan on earth, Im from South Africa nd im a colored, he is the best thing that ever happen to me all praise and Glory to the Allmighty… he is so sweet , gently, God fearing man… cant wait to visit Nigeria, But im so greatfull im actualy feeling so humble, you knw to have such a man in my life, he is such an inspiration, nd like some of you said, i also had my doubts about Nigerians, But mine is the BEST more than the BEST

  31. jackie says:

    This is new for me(nigerian lover) for the first time I know what love is

  32. Tee says:

    A year later and I found out that I am the D.B.I.A! Yes I trusted IKe, a liar…. a lying dogg who dated multiple women all white ( he constantly expressed how he loved black women and white women had nothing for him) For yesssss He is a liar…. Ike looked for women whom he could benefit from (money). And old women who could not bare children anymore. For yes he makes the babies and thats IT.

  33. Emmanuel says:

    nigeria is a better country than all that but we lack creative mind who meant good and positive ideology for these NATION

  34. Michael says:

    Very well put Bola, igbo Nigerian men come with the whole package though.

  35. Fatima says:

    I have my man.

  36. yaya says:

    Well i had went out with an american born nigerian guy. i am 24 and hes 22. hes different i guess. Hes actually ashamed of being nigerian. we have a mixed child i am filipino/samoan/blk lol. I guess every nigerian dude is different. I couldnt put up with his self hating and problems. Well i am not knocking nigerian men as i still dont know much about the culture . but love my son !

  37. msthang says:

    I am an African American… female and I find your article interesting, and its only my belief in God I will not stoop to a low level and Dis anyone because they are who they are….. I will say my experience with the Nigerian man has been and ______ the 411's are so amazing (wink) and pompous. But my experieince with the one I have now is wonderful. I like those who live in America and refuse to behave like the others. Shall I say arrogant, maybe its the God in him that makes him the man and provider he is and I love every bit out it. always remember Chica, its you and your people who come abroad for change and now its time to act on it……..

  38. Patricia76 says:

    I have to say, I agree! I am AA, well sort of. My dad is caribbean, born here, and my mom is AA. I was born here as well. Well, I have no luck getting a hard working AA man without drama, because they just don’t seemed as focused. I think there are a ton of good AA men out there, but they are sometimes hard to come by depending on your situtation.

    Well, about 4 months ago, I met a sexy 6′, tall, caramel, muscular nigerian man, and I am hooked. He’s suave, educated, smart, comes from a good family, affectionate, loving, and is a christian. Man, how in the world did I get so lucky? This guy is amazing…

    You’re right, you have to know how to cook, but he doesn’t care about African food, as long as it good and tasty. So, as long as I cook, it’s like I’m the only woman in the world. He’d love me without the cooking, but I like feeding my man.

    African American women, stop settling, and think outside the box! You might find a Naija prince, I did!!

  39. Tracey says:

    Nice article. I’ve been absolutely in love with my bf, a Nigerian man for over a year now. I have never been so passionate about any man in my life, in spite of being in a few long-term relationships. He has me smitten with his sexy, wonderful self. He is so sweet and caring and takes such good care of me. We have had our ups and downs but have managed to work through them. He is my African king and I am his lady, his queen. I am not African, I’m from the Caribbean but I feel alot of our values are so similiar which makes us see things eye to eye. One thing I can definitely agree with is, ladies, to capture a Nigerian man’s heart, you best know how to throw down in the kitchen cause they love to eat! (I thank God for my Caribbean upbringing even though I’ve been in America for awhile). Also, be a strong woman but dont try to “control” him. Nigerian men are lions…they are strong willed, providers, and do not tolerate disrespect…if you are not comfortable with toning it down and allowing him to have control, at least fake it until you make it;)

  40. jeofem says:

    average

  41. Samatha says:

    Very nice artilce. I was reading comments from a different forum that was focusing on all the negative things about Nigerian men. I visited this article after having a terrible experience with a Nigerian man. What amazed me is that the Nigerian women (except my sister-in-law) felt as if I got what I deserved. They were not being truthful with me. They pretended that their men were very good to them and never cheated on them. They made it appear like the problem was with me and not him. It makes me feel better to know that you are honest about Nigerian men. My sister-in-law for 23 years is also a very honest person about the men of her culture. She is very blessed to have a good Southern boy like my big brother. He cherish her and take GOOD care of her and their children.

  42. omo says:

    My igbo man ! Eh….I do anything for him!after four years he still got me fantasizing when his not around!

    I like this…my boyfriend is so dam sexy ! We both najia but I was born here. We got a weird relationship but that’s ok with me! Lol

  43. empress says:

    i must say this i s the first time i have been dating a nigerian guy …and i love him die….yes almost everyone has told me negative things about Nigerian guys but i have not experienced it yet.I pray so much that everything works out right…I am a non Nigerian woman but i try to understand their culture so i probably would understand him alot better.Trying my best to keep thinking positive..As for the author hymm,..he is fine.

  44. TeeNichelle says:

    I reside in Huntsville Al, I find your article to be dead on about my Love Ike. He is Bold, brash, infuriating, funny, crafty, big-hearted, double-dealing, sexy, crazy, loving. The things that makes me so mad and upset are the same things that I love about him. I am praying and working daily to be all that he needs. We have our ups and downs mainly downs, but I can’t get him out of my system He makes me feel like I am just finding out who I am or what the future holds for me and hopefully its him. I love this man i want to learn more about him and how to please him. Thank you for writing this article

  45. Kim says:

    Lord! help us all… I love me some AFRIANS. I dated, GAMBIA’S and now a NIGERIA’S. The article is sooo true. They make good love to you, they treat like royalty, expecially the Gambia. However, they love… women, but american men do too, but with this being said, they make your juice box, JUICY! and they keep you panthing after them. Now don’t get me wrong, I got a brother, MANGO coming strong on me too now. I know how to make him bark and sneeze at the same time,. Lol… age difference, but that don’t matter, to me, but him, I think, is uncomfortable, but my secret our secret, I aint going no where. Just thinking about him, make me want to do myself. Yell. GO Negarians, and Gambias’.

    MI Girl… here. 9/4/2010

  46. brenda says:

    robin

    if his name is richard jessop he is scamming you.

  47. Namntu says:

    I am a south african Xhosa woman and i am dating a nigerian(Igbo) man who is 10 years older than me. He is very youthful though. He is loving and kind. I am enjoying my time with him. He assists me with household chores when he has time and cooks for me when i am tired. He is hardworking, funny, loving, attentive and romantic. All i can say is that he was raised well by his parents. And i cant wait to go to Naija one day! Love is not about ethnicity, colour or creed.

  48. nshanta says:

    Hyacinth. I met your nigerian man on face book. Did he tell you that he had 3 children back in Nigeria? Did you know he was on facebook? Do you know that he tells people that he is not married? Are you on facebook? You should join and you will see the faces of his children.

  49. melon says:

    i very respectable nigerian lawyer is pursuing me relentlessly. he’s 10 years older than me and im 32. im a filipino and we never met. racial and color was very important for me before..but i got to know him a little each day we talk over the phone and he is quite nice and catch…but im still scared for the fact that im hearing bad things about nigeria and scams…any advice?

  50. hyacinth says:

    My nigerian husband is hardworking, loving and proud. I am a black women from another part of the world. We are always learning different ways to love each other as equals. I dont accept or indulge in stereotypying any brothers. Nigerian men have so many good qualities they outweigh any negativities.

  51. kiyonty says:

    Evry thing that is said in theb article is so true. Im a South african and been with a nigerian brother for 3years and ive been happy ever since. these man just know how to take care of a women. I love them

  52. Robin says:

    I have been chatting with a man in Nigeria that says he is a white man working there… we all feel he is trying to scam me. But i have still fallen for him. You are right about his charms… but he lacks honesty… It makes me said that i can tell him color doesnt matter to me but he still says he is white. I have spoken to him on the phone and well he is not a white Englishman… Oh well i have not given up hope that he will be true with me. Very good artical. I understand him a bit more.

  53. GiGi says:

    This article gives me hope and has brighted my morning. I recently dated a nigerian-igbo guy and now I’m devastated, b/c we’re no longer together. He possesses all the attributes mentioned above. His looks didn’t attract me to him initally (although, he’s handsome), it was his conversation, persistance and his laugh. After a couple of months, I started catching flack for speaking highly of this guy that I’d come to adore. I’d share the convo that I’d encountered regarding Nigerians behavior with him and he’d get so upset. Personally, I don’t judge ppl b/c of where they’re from. It’s their actions that make them how they are.

    I’m always educating myself about different cultures. We all have good/bad attributes…I’d discuss these issues with him, instead of other ppl. And I’d ask him, “Am I defending you in vain?”

    Well, my womenly intuitions kicked in…that’s when everything went south. I went through his cell phone in his face. Devastation is all I

    have to say. I love all men and WE (as humans) all have flaws. However, I love myself enough to know that regardless of all the wonderful attributes this guy possessed, his reckless actions could potentially become hazardous to my health.

    I’m disappointed, b/c he wasn’t honest with me from the beginning. It doesn’t matter the attributes you hold. When putting someones life in danger due to your own selfish desires, that’s when people lose respect for you.

    In my opinion, it is his behavior that makes him a gentlemen…not his social standing in life. This makes him a true gentleman in the purest sense. His thoughts and actions are based on principles. However, he understands the need to show emotions and that certain things in life are inevitable.

    I haven’t given up on nigerian men…i love all men….just continuing to tread with CAUTION!!!!!!

  54. Rebecca says:

    As a white woman in the US, I enjoyed the article so much – it is a true account. My ex-husband was Yoruba and today we are still close, but not married. After over 20 years of not dating Nigerian men, I now find myself hopelessly attracted to an Igbo man half my age, knowing this connection will likely end in heartache. So, I am now looking to re-connect with the men of my spiritual homeland who are closer to my own age. Highly Generalized Question: Can Nigerian women accept a white woman without malice?

  55. Cindy says:

    my boyfriend is a nigerian-yoruba but he is just too sweet and full of fun and charm, am not nigerian though but i find something good about them because my boyfriend is so much in love with me and above all the commitment he has got OMG is just to much for me coz atimes i feel he is too much for me but now dat i have read this article i surely have to calam down and accept him that way

  56. Otse says:

    I can’t help but feel happy with myself. This write up is so true that i hav to print it and give it to my girlfriend to read. Trust it will strengthen our relationship more and cause less friction. Thanks girl…

  57. sabine says:

    Hi my Dears, i am also now in relation with nigerian Man, sometimes i must wondering so different but also so loveley i swear. I must agree with pan :) same here i am german woman. But i swear by god all things i read is true. I really love him so much he is trustful, charming and full of love what i want to need more. First Man i felt is truley to me sometimes i am honest he is cheating me ;) but ok, next time he told me so that is what i love and really like. He is my true love and i hope that is forever.

    hugs around

  58. pan says:

    My husband is Igbo. I’m European. Generally, he’s ok, but one thing about him is that he can lie without blinking an eye. I mean not a big lie, like cheating but little things that irritate the hell out of me. When i ask him sth, he gives me very general answer n he thinks i should be fully satisfied, or he pretends he doesn’t understand my question. I’m different culture, n i’m not used to it, maybe that’s the reason.

  59. EMO says:

    Very informative article. I have never dated a Nigerian man, but one has “set his sights” on me and I am considering giving him a chance. Thanks for the information

  60. Sunshine says:

    OMG I love this article. I must email you.

  61. Destiny says:

    I think you’re unavoidably biased ;-)

  62. msiangirl says:

    I am a Malaysian Chinese. I used to think that my Yoruba fiancee was fighting when he was speaking amongst his brothers but I discovered that the tone comes with the gentlest heart . Takes getting used to but I thank God that we have been brought together.

  63. Bola says:

    @David

    youre not going to get me to go down that road with you! Apart from that I live in Nigeria so I might not be able to give an accurate comparison. And I dont think images portayed on Tv or films is a true depiction of an African American man

  64. Halona says:

    Hey latasha I am in the same boat!

  65. David says:

    Hi Bolanle, let me spark a topic for discussion from your article, and your notion will be appreciated! African men vs African American men , or better still Nigerian men vs African American men! What do you think? I guess you`re in US.I m too! Let hear your unbiased write up about this!

  66. TTom says:

    looool at pissing in public.. Yes, that’s naija for you.

  67. BBullock says:

    hmmmm, your article has me thinking, and yet I’ve read some other articles that are very scary which leads me to wonder if I can trust my yoruba man that I am dating. I am confused I must say, and I know enough to know that if I am confused, I need to be still.

  68. Neesa says:

    hey, never dated any? u should try! yeah…so do i, i always heard negative about them. i keep searching on net about nigerian guys. i found 90% negative thinking about them. u shud think, like american..some of them are good and some are not, right? they are human being as well. just keep thinking positively, ok?

  69. Neesa says:

    hey, nice article. my boyfriend is a nigerian boy. (igbo). he is so fine!! like u said..hehe..ive been with 7 nigerians so far. well, not bad. i am Asian. i am so lucky to have him in my life. he is my Mr Perfect!

    so, no doubt! we are human being. people do mistakes. not all are good and not all are bad. i know its hard to make sure about people characteristic!

    like my own race, there’s no perfect people in this life. some are bad and some are good. anyway, thanks for the article. i learn something from it =]

  70. Demitrice says:

    I would love to get to know a Nigerian male. I’m looking for those characteristics you wrote about the Nigerian man. Very interesting write up.

  71. bri says:

    I am speechless becuse every damn paragraph is my yoruba fiance….i ws so iffy before i excepted the proposl…but without doubt he has done and put up with too much not to love me…

  72. unknown says:

    very, very,good write up.

  73. twigs says:

    You forgot to add that Nigerian men are the only ones bold enough to flicker out their hoses and urinate anywhere outside other than the bathroom. I used to blame the fact that we had no public bathrooms until I visited other African countries without these facillities–they are all decent enough to hold it. I came across a taxi driver wetting my doorstep area and sure enough–it was my Naija bros.

  74. Latasha says:

    I am an African American woman and has never dated a Nigerian Man until recently. I’m in total agreement with your article. His kindness and strength has forced an uncontrollable urge to think about him constantly. It’s unfortunate that I had premature sex and now find myself in a battle to redeem myself, however he shows much concern and respect in the mist of it all. For now I would not prefer to date another African American man.

  75. Sharon says:

    I am African American. I agree with it all. It's always a love/hate type thing going on, yet they have this charisma, this sex appeal about them. The plus thing about a NIGERIAN man is, even if he broke, he walks tall and proud. Just from looking at him, you would think he owned the world. That to me is what makes it hard to shake Nigerian men. (smile)

  76. Marian says:

    I love my Nigerian man! Have never been made to feel so loved in a way that is meaningful to me. This article confirms what I have seen in him, except we both believe in absolute faithfulness to each other.

  77. Yolanda Thompson says:

    I have never dated a Nigerian man although quite a few have flirted with me. Because I always heard negative cmments about them. But, if I am blessed again to meet another Nigerian man maybe I will give it a shot.

    Thank you for giving me the courage to try next time. I am moving to Sacramento, California in August of this year to attend Law School. Maybe my chance will

    appear out there if there are any Christian belief handsome Nigerian men in that area.

    THabnk You!

  78. Denise says:

    Your article was very informitive and I really enjoyed it. I agree with what you are saying. I'm in the early stages of a relationship with an Igbo man and I love him already. He is strong yet gentle with never ending respect for me. The great thing is he has taken an real interest in my son and in helping him become a worthy man. I am one happy African American woman who can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

  79. Sheila says:

    I really had to agree with your article as much as I tried not to. I am an american women who has dated only african men for 7 years and all I can say is oh god have mercy on me. They do have there somewhat dominating ways, but I can handle that as long as there is respect, and there always is. Many of my girlfriends and family members keep asking me why is that all I date, my answer is simple as the author said so wonderfully, they are truly fine. Moreover the have the qualities like my father who I admire they are very hard working, great providers, love to be flashy which I also love, their is nothing wrong with a brother wanting good things and if you are his lady you will also. I love the way african men love their children it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but I can see the boys are more spoiled, that is the truth. Now as far as food, yes they love to eat, I had to download african recipes from the Internet it was a must that I learned to cook the that jalof rice which is so good and many other things. I found it very hard to get them to eat a lot of american food unless it was Italian such as spaghetti or chinese food, but that very rare. I know many africans think that we american women do not belong with their men but be real I know a good thing when I see it. I will never marry an american man unless he is like my dad and that is rare. My mom knew what she was doing they are a upper class family,living a good life in a beautiful home and because my father was a smart worker and investor, neither one of them have to work at all now and they still live the life. If I was african which many people tell me I am like a igbo women because of my looks and style of dress I would surely have married to one by now, but as an american its a little harder. Although I have been asked twice, once for papers which I declined and the second time was a yoruba man, and he was just a little to dominating for my taste and his class was not that high, no thanks. I hate to be biased, but igbo men are truly the sexiest of all the african men I know, what do they but in the water there. As for the author You go girl!

  80. Mesha says:

    This is so funny, because it is SO true. My bf is Nigerian and I am A.A. Our relationship is hard because we view things totally differently. But he is so, everything I would ever want in a man. I love him so!

  81. adamawa says:

    nice write-up! some of it true, some of it an exxageration… (i.e., Naija guys are fine?? Sorrym but only a few are…)

  82. Ula-Lisa, E.T. says:

    Great flattery:

    If you are not married, one bobo go soon land! Because yo got the right perspective on Naija-bobos, in case you need collaboration for ya movie for Yankee, contact me if the movie is wholesome.

    More Blessing!!!

  83. Lagbaja says:

    Flattering is a sin

  84. Yomi Dawotola says:

    Your style flatters the nigerian man. Very sweet though. Witty. A compelling read for the nigerian man. I enjoyed it.

  85. Benny 3000 says:

    Great writing. I see more than a little bit of myself in this picture.

    And no matter how hard we pretend, Nigerian women are the best. As a bachelor here in the States, there have been opportunities to mingle with women from other climes… whites, other Africans, akata, etc. But when seriousness beckoned, one still had to rush back to Naija to pick a wife from home. No matter what they say, man or woman, Naija is great.

  86. Rosie says:

    Yowza!

  87. Chi says:

    Bolanle, your article is right on the money! It is interesting that the same things that make our men attractive to our women also make our women attractive to the men. Our women have that distinct quality that is rare to come by in other nationalities except for those in close geographic or social proximity with Nigeria or Nigerians. A little bit of honesty and an understanding that his way is not the only way would make him more attractive to others. I am in no way suggesting that he looses his identity in order conform – no because the Nigerian is beautiful – man or woman.

  88. Anonymous says:

    Bolanle,

    May God continue to bless you for the great writeup about the NIGERIAN MAN!

All Comments Moderated for Spam


*